One year old today. My baby is one year old. After a 24 hour super fun labor- Braxton Robert was born August 28th, 2011 at 10:36pm. 8 pounds 5 ounces, 21 inches of pure joy. My sweet little conehead gift from God.
(If you missed the fantastic one year pictures, taken by one of my best friends, Liz Curtiss- browse them here and enjoy with me:)
Today I’ll celebrate all day with him. We’ll probably walk down to our favorite coffee spot and share a scone and watch the boats on the canal. He likes to say hi and wave to everyone that goes by:) But before he wakes up, I want to write “the letter” to my baby. Granted, he is a boy, and if he is more like his father- he won’t be very sentimental to a silly letter his mom wrote him when he turned one. But- if he gets a little Mama in him, he will read it always with shining eyes and a hug. Ok, maybe not THAT sensitive, but I’ll take the hug. Either way, he will know just how I felt when I reflected on being the mother of a one year old. Here goes.
A couple minutes old. One year old. The most wonderful, fastest, rewarding year of my life.
Dear Braxton Robert,
While I was pregnant with you in my belly, I kept a little journal of everything I went through- the good, bad, and ugly. Mostly, the good. I was reading it today, and I came across a quote I wrote in it that stood out to me:
“I have never been happier or felt so in the right place in my entire life, and it’s because of this baby boy.”
I’m not sure that truer words have ever been spoken- or how they became even more true the first second I saw you, and every day since.
I know every Mom has that special bond with their children, so I’m not going to say ours is the most special. But it is special and unique for us- and you’re the best thing to ever happen to us. You are quite literally the light of my life.
I like to think life is a puzzle that is always growing. A magic puzzle, if you will. I was one piece, and that was fine. But then I grew some new edges that needed a new piece, so I found your dad. We bonded into one, and those edges grew on us, and we needed to fit something else in. You’re that piece. We’re all perfectly suited. You were the piece meant for Daddy and I. The three of us may grow new edges one day, but always know that you are so special. Our first child.
This past year has been a whirlwind- there were a few times I wondered if I was capable of keeping a human being alive. I had times when I really felt like a lousy mom. I had to leave work an awful lot to come get sick you from daycare, and though I put on a show for work that I was sorry- I secretly craved any extra minute I could spend with you. I cried along with you, I felt your tooth aches, and I didn’t understand a lot (I’m still learning every day). I did the best I could to take away your pain, less of taking it upon myself- I would if I could. There were times I wasn’t quite quick enough to catch you, but I was always there to comfort you after the fall. I was not perfect, but you loved me anyways. You know what- you’re still here. We did it!!
But more than that, there were the most amazing moments. There was the first breath you took- I saw that! The first time you cried. The first time you looked at me with blue eyes- now brown. The hour you laid with me when you were born. There was your first smile, your first real belly laugh. The first time you were sick (I panicked and called the nurse immediately- you were fine). There was your first crying fit, your first roll, your first crawl, your first bath. Your first holidays, your first wonder, your first words and sounds (MAMA and we’re working on Bubbles!!). Watching you learn- first as simple as the fact that you have fingers, to now, the fact that balls fit into things (even where they shouldn’t). It’s not uncommon for me to open cupboards at your level and find all sorts of toys hidden in places. You’re discovering so much! You now laugh when I say “no” to pulling my hair. You find it hilarious. I guess I should work on my authority- but it’s so cute I can’t help but smile. Most recently, we’re celebrating your first steps. You’ll be walking in no time, running for your dreams. A toddler instead of a baby. You hold my hand instead of my finger nowadays.
Braxton, watching you grow has been by far the most rewarding experience I have ever gone through in my entire life. You are a beautiful, stubborn, independent, loving, amazing little boy. Every month I say this is my favorite stage. They all are. Every day is a gift- I get to see what comes next! “What will he learn/do/say/get into/break/laugh at/ignore today?!” We’re going to have so many adventures together as you grow more and more. I would love to slow time down, but I can’t. I can only cherish every moment we have together. I hope that now, and for the rest of your life, you know how much I love you.
You were born for my heart. In one year you have made me a better person; you’ve given me patience and a knowledge I didn’t even know existed. You’ve somehow given me confidence. You have shown your dad a side of softie he didn’t know he had. You are a superhero already. Pretty good stats for a year. You always will be my Superman.
Reach for the stars, my sweet boy, but if you ever need help reaching one, I am always always right here to be your boost.
Happy Birthday, b.
I love you a bushel and a peck, a hug around the neck, a barrel and a heap<3